TIPS FOR COPING WITH HAVING A FAMILY MEMBER WITH HEPATITIS C

Remember:

¨ You cannot cure your family member. Despite your efforts, symptoms may get worse or may improve. Enjoy the good times.

¨ If you feel much resentment, you are giving too much.

¨ It can be as hard for you to accept the illness, as it is for the ill family member.

¨ You may learn something about yourself as you learn about a family member’s journey through illness.

¨ Separate the person from the virus. Love the person, even if you hate the virus or side effects of the medication.

¨ It is not OK for you to be neglected. You have needs & wants too.

¨ Your chances of catching hepatitis C from casual or sexual contact with a family member is extremely low, providing proper precautions are taken to avoid blood contact.

¨ Everyone’s blood has the potential to make someone else sick. Never share razors, toothbrushes or drug injection/snorting equipment. Make sure that tattoo, manicure, electrolysis and acupuncture establishments use sterile equipment.

¨ The illness of a family member is nothing to be ashamed of.

¨ You may encounter discrimination from an apprehensive public.

¨ You and your family member may have different comfort levels around disclosure of information to others. It is important to discuss this and be respectful of each other’s needs.

¨ No one is to blame.

¨ Don’t forget your sense of humour.

¨ Acknowledge the courage your family member may show in dealing with the illness.

¨ Your family member is entitled to his or her own life journey, as are you.

¨ Resist the survival-oriented response of shutting down emotionally. Find someone to talk to. You are not alone.

¨ Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others in a support group is helpful and enlightening for many.

¨ It may be necessary to renegotiate the way things have been done in your relationship, both emotionally and physically.

¨ Recognizing that a person has limited capabilities should not mean that you expect nothing of them.

¨ You may experience grief issues about what you had and lost, or about what you never had.

¨ After denial, sadness, and anger comes acceptance. The addition of understanding yields compassion.

¨ Diseases are a part of the varied fabric of life.

¨ Don’t shoulder the whole responsibility for your ill family member.

¨ Forgive yourself and others for mistakes made.

¨ Physicians have varying degrees of competence, knowledge and experience.

¨ If you can’t care for yourself, you can’t care for another.

¨ The needs of the ill person do not necessarily always come first.

¨ Chronic illness affects the entire family, not just the person who actually has the disease.

¨ It is natural to experience a range of emotions such as grief, guilt, fear, anger, sadness, hurt and confusion.

¨ Support your local Hepatitis C group and the search for a cure!

WHAT SHOULDN’T I SAY?

Most people really do want to be helpful, but sometimes they just don’t seem to think before they speak.

Here are a few of the “Least Helpful” things you can say to your HCV-positive friend:

¨ “It’s all in your head.”

¨ “You just need to get out and exercise more.”

¨ “No one ever said life was fair.”

¨ “You think you’ve got problems...”

¨ “Maybe you should eat better/take vitamins.”

¨ “You don’t look sick!”

¨ “Everybody knows HCV doesn’t have any symptoms. You’re just looking for attention.”

¨ “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

¨ “Believe me, I know how you feel. I was sick once.”

¨ “So, you feel sick. Don’t you always?”

¨ “Oh, cheer up!”

WHAT SHOULD I SAY?
Do you really want to help? Here are a few of the “Best” things you can say to your HCV-positive friend:

¨ “I love you!”

¨ “I care.”

¨ “You’re not alone in this.”

¨ “I’m not going to abandon you.”

¨ “Do you want a hug?”

¨ “I am going to take care of myself so you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.”

¨ “I listen to you talk about it, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just can’t imagine how hard it must be.”

¨ “If you need a friend...” (and mean it.)

¨ “Is there anything I can do to help?” (and mean it.)

¨ “I am going food shopping tomorrow. Give me your list and I will pick it up, bring it home to you and help put it away.”

¨ “I don't care if you get tired and cranky. I love you and spending time with you is still fun.”

¨ “I will be over in half an hour with dinner and a video, and then I will leave so you don't have to entertain me.”

¨ “It’s okay, you don't have to be brave for me. Let me be the strong one for a while.”

¨ “It is a gift to me that you permit me to help and support you. I know how hard it is for you to ask for help.”

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